Expert Tips For Great Days
Five Positive Parenting Principles
By Dr. Abi Gewirtz
As a parent, don’t you feel overwhelmed from time to time? I know I do. I’ve found that having some simple tools at my disposal makes it easier to react well under everyday, stressful circumstances. I hope you’ll agree that these concepts can be applied to an endless range of situations — from tooth brushing to clean-up time. You may want to try practicing one or two of them with your own kids. Remember to contact me on Facebook and tell me how it goes!
- Provide encouragement.
- Monitor well.
- Enjoy connection time.
- Help them problem solve.
- Set limits effectively.
1.
Provide encouragement.
It’s so easy and costs nothing! But it’s human nature to forget to recognize our kids for the good things they do. Set them up for success with some simple, regular encouragement: “You put your plate in the dishwasher without being told!” “Great job brushing your teeth this morning!” I find that regular encouragement can make it easier — and more effective — when I need to set limits. For more on encouragement, see Understanding What Motivates Children.
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2.
Monitor well.
I remember when my kids were little — monitoring was a constant thing. I had to make sure they weren’t sticking their fingers in the socket or running into the street. As your children get older though, you’ll delegate some of that monitoring to caregivers, teachers and friends’ parents. So it’s important to know and trust those people. Know what questions to ask friends and caregivers. Do you know what your child is doing, where he’ll be, whom he’ll be with, and when he will be back?
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3.
Enjoy connection time.
We’re all so busy — it’s hard to find time just to talk and play as a family. The good news is that any time together is valuable! Some ideas my family has enjoyed: planning a family game night; eating dinner together at least once a week; sharing our days with each other after school and work.
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4.
Help them problem solve.
Problem solving is necessary in everyday life, so it’s a good skill to teach and practice. Kids as young as 5 can participate in problem-solving activities (see sidebar). This helps teach valuable skills while giving them some control over anything from setting a bedtime to deciding what activities the family should do on vacation this year.
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5.
Set limits effectively.
My approach to setting limits actually starts with giving my kids options. I try to reward them with simple things that they enjoy and back up “time out” by taking away privileges. This helps me set limits and follow through on discipline without fighting. For ideas on how to put this into practice, see Helping Children Maintain Healthy Brushing Routines.
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