Expert Tips: Helping Children Maintain Healthy Brushing Routines

Expert Tips:
Helping Children Maintain
Healthy Brushing Routines

Helping Children Maintain A Routine
By Dr. Abi Gewirtz

When I work with parents on creating routines, I’ll often hear a story like this: “It’s Wednesday morning and I’m in another fight with my 5-year-old about brushing her teeth. As I shout for my teenager to get out of bed for the 10th time and wonder where my toddler has wandered off to, I find myself thinking, ‘There has to be an easier way.’”

If this sounds familiar and you’d like to try something new, here are a few ideas. This approach involves nothing more than a little patience and a solid plan. I hope it works for you!

Setting the Routine
Giving Good Directions
Keeping Control

1. Setting the Routine
Believe it or not, children — and humans in general — crave routine. Knowing what to expect is simply less stressful than constantly having to guess what’s next. So my first step in setting a routine is letting my kids know what that routine is. I describe what we’ll do first, second, third, etc. each morning and evening. If you try this, you may find that you need to repeat it several times — especially with younger children. Or you can use charts, picture symbols — whatever it takes to make everyone aware of the routine. Then I make sure I stick to it — consistency is what makes a routine, well, routine!
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2. Giving Good Directions
As children get older, one of the easiest ways for them to express their independence is to rebel against the routine. That might mean your 5-year-old refusing to brush her teeth or your teenager staying out past his curfew.

Luckily, you can actually use the routine to help give your child more independence. For example, let your teen be responsible for unloading the dishwasher each night or allow your 5-year-old to pick out her outfit for the next day.

Of course, if you want your child to do something the way you want it done, it really can help to show him first. I try not to underestimate the importance of giving good directions, even if that means breaking a task down multiple times. I’ll tell my child what I want, when I want it done, and how I want it done. . I also try to remember to say please and not be snippy — treating them the way I want them to treat others. Then I monitor during the process to make sure things are going smoothly.

Provide encouragement (a reward or praise) for a job well done. A goal I often use is to praise my children 5 times for every 1 time I need to correct them.
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3. Keeping Control
Let’s say you’ve given your child five specific pieces of encouragement . You’ve told her that the plan, as always, is to watch TV for half an hour, brush teeth and then go to bed. Now it’s bedtime and she keeps asking for “5 more minutes” of TV time. Here’s a way to keep control of the situation and remind her that the routine is the routine:

1. First, give a simple, clear direction: “Please turn off the TV and go to brush your teeth now.”

2. Wait there, allowing her 10 seconds to respond. If she doesn’t respond, repeat the direction and offer an option: “Switch off the TV now and brush your teeth, or go to time out for 5 minutes.”

3. Give your child another 10 seconds to comply. If she doesn’t, say, “That’s not listening. Go to time out for 5 minutes.”

4. For each delay, excuse or whine, keep adding a minute of time out: “Now it’s 6 minutes. Now it’s 7 minutes.” Go up as far as 10 minutes if necessary, but no more.

5. Once you’re up to 10, give her a final option: “Go to time out for 10 minutes or you lose (a privilege).” Let her know what privilege she’ll be losing (for example, no bedtime story tonight or no favorite TV program tomorrow). Don’t take away something she’s earned from previous good behavior and make sure you follow through!

6. Finally, walk away. She may yell. She may melt down in tears. But you need to remain calm. The more consistent you are, the sooner she’ll realize her behavior isn’t working.

I have found this most successful when I explain the time out routine to children BEFORE I have to use it. You can try practicing it with your kids in a fun way so that they know the routine. The good news is, you won’t have to do this often for them to learn that you’re serious and that it’s better to comply than to face the consequences. Of course, kids — like all of us — have bad days. Don’t expect perfection. On average, well-behaved kids comply 70% of the time. The point is to make noncompliance the exception, and the routine, the rule.
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